” Who among us is not withered and weighed down by the accrual of actual or imagined slights, betrayals, resentments, estrangements, and wrong doings done unto us most often by someone we’ve loved. And in ways I needn’t number, we’re all paralyzed, hobbled by our grievances and heart breaks, by the press of sin, the failure of vision, by fear, by worry, by anxieties about the end.” Thomas Lynch
Occasionally, we become distracted by the happenings and circumstances of daily life; the things others do to us and more importantly, the things we do to others. And while many are quick to claim (and I try to believe as much as possible) that life is ‘perfect as it is’, and ‘everything happens for a reason’, we are susceptible to tripping on those ‘perfect’ experiences. We find ourselves struggling to move forward. We become hobbled, and our vision, jaded from seeing and experiencing clearly. Thomas Lynch goes on in his essay, to celebrate those around us who pick us up, and are there to ‘do their part’ to keep us moving forward, or at least comfort us – they are the real miracles in our lives.
I agree. We should be eternally grateful for those miracles and hope our lives are never void of these ‘angels’ that support us in times of need. I also remind myself that I must reach within for that strength to pick up, dust myself off and move on. I look for the courage that is inside and strive to breathe through whatever it is…or may be. Regardless if the experience is seen as petty in the eyes of others or catastrophic to me, I need to do my best to move forward so I can do ‘my part’, first and foremost for myself, and then especially for those I love and am committed to…some days this is easier than others.
I would never minimize the effort this could take. In many situations, the task to rise up could be the hardest thing anyone might have to do: possibly insurmountable. But I also believe we do not have to be alone or weakened by these injuries that, if we allow them, can start as one piece of straw and slowly and painfully accumulate into a crushing stack. I myself sometimes find it takes daily effort to shed the straws and avoid being overwhelmed…some days I am more successful than others. Hence the reminder to forgive and cast the shadows away because I am not alone. We all deal with it in some form or another, some more successfully than others…but I don’t believe anyone escapes having to experience the challenge.
Healing can take many forms that require actions necessary to repair ourselves. And as I look deeper into myself, and learn as much as I can, I find myself with a regular reminder that healing begins with forgiveness. First I forgive myself for my ‘actual or imagined slights, betrayals, resentments, estrangements, and wrong doings’ and then for those I feel have come from outside of me. It starts with my refusing the need to be paralyzed, or hobbled by my grievances, or heartbroken…again, some days this is easier than others. It ends with being made whole and passing through the experiences that surround me, whether I want them there or not…
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Hopefully I have provided some perspective that is useful to you…
the divine art of chilling out 